Ruins...

Some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls and restorer of homes. Isaiah 58:12

My world has been broken and destroyed. My children's lives shattered, a family torn, and images of horror every night. Daily I struggle to allow these things to harbour in my heart and soul. Im trying to pick up the peices to confront, forgive, extend grace, and heal. Jesus restore my heart, rebuild my family, help me overcome hurts, and help me rebuild a beautiful life for my children. Help me to be strong so I can be what you want me to be.

Lies

You lied to me,
I trusted you,
I never asked,
I opened up,
You took control,
Took advantage,
I loved you for you,

Now I walk away,
Confused and torn,
I'm a fighter,
I will not look back,
I'll take the good and cherish it,
And throw away the bad and burn it,
You lied,
When all I asked for...
Was love and honesty.

Believe none of what you hear,
I should not have believed you,

Half of what you see,
I loved all of what I saw,
But now you look like that,

Rotten banana peel...
That was falling off the wall.

Worth fighting for?

Love is what makes anything worth fighting for. If Love is not in the equation then forget the battle. It is a waste of time. Love is the reason to live or die. Sacrificing for another is what has made all the positive difference in the world. Giving your best effort to figure problems out and to make dreams real, standing up for the weak, setting a good example of bravery and trust in the Good, thinking of others and the future more than mere comfort today--these are gifts humans can give each other. If you are talking about a relationship, it comes down to Love as well. Even though we are imperfect, fighting for the Love we share is still valid. Love is an action as well as a feeling. It means acting unselfishly for another's best interest and the best interest of the relationship. It means defending both against who and/or whatever would destroy it. It is digging deep, even during times of doubt, to be true to a worthy partner. It is clarifying that the relationship is a priority. If you don't fight, what are you left with? Physical fighting may not be what is required or recommended but there needs to be one's best effort shown to give meaning to one's vow of loyalty.

mom day

Training has taught me to be numb to most emotions Most relationships end due to my coldness I have always retreated from touch Tonight I stare at my babies They need my touch my love and protection For the first time I realize that I might need that too Who is strong enough to take that on? We will see or maybe I should conform? I love you mom, you are my hero... Happy Mothers Day Mom

sunfish

I slept His arm held me close I was sleeping in a hammock rocking in the breeze cool and sweet Aroma of musk and sweet pine I was sailing on the open water I could see innocent children skipping rocks on the beach the sun glistening off of their blond hair Everything at peace I sleep Knowing his arms are around me no matter where I go I am at peace Smelling and tasting his love Sailing with faith and happiness

Always on the run

I was born...
Into a home of love and trust
God had a plan for me

She said in that old apartment one day,
"lady you have a halo around you, you will do great things and prosper"
I didn't know her and she was crazy

Who am I
I am distant from reality
Do I resist this greatness that she talked about
I protect and hide this anger
The light is within grasp
I am invincible
and meek

Hungry
for the...

Cross
and the love, the eternal love
where I can hold his hand
rocking in my chair
looking at
golden wheat
in the
wind

The smell of the wet
 rain in my hair
running

like a child

Reluctance

Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
 I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world,
and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.
The leaves are all dead on the ground,
 Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
 And let them go scraping and creeping
 Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.
And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last lone aster is gone;
 The flowers of the witch hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question "Whither?"
 Ah, when to the heart of man
 Was it ever less than a treason
 To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
 And bow and accept the end Of a love or a season?

 Robert Frost